My Narrative Writing

This week Mr. Mitchell told us we had to pick a number from 50 selected story summaries. The link is here:
https://sites.google.com/a/hornby.school.nz/mt/7write

I picked 22, I had to write a made up story about a dangerous experience.  

This is my writing:

22 - A dangerous experience

I was on my way to school, and Mum was acting weirdly when she was driving.  Suddenly, she passed out! I had to steer the wheel, so I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaped into the front seat to help steer the wheel… I did it!  I managed to get mums foot of the pedal and I steered the wheel until it was safe. I got Mums phone and called 111 so she could get an ambulance…

“Hello, what’s your emergency?” The person on the other line said.“Hi, uhh yes I’ve almost been in a crash with my mum and she passed out, we are on waterloo road!  Near the school I go to, Hornby High School, I need an ambulance for my mum immediately!” I said as I panicked.  I waited and waited and… An ambulance came!!! I was never so happy to see an ambulance in my life! But… It just went right past us.  
Oh I know! I have to signal something so they know I’m here with my mum.  I take Mum out of the car onto the sidewalk so the ambulance can see Mum and I.  The ambulance sees us! I see the ambulance coming towards us…

I wake up and I’m in my bed with my mum telling me to get up and get ready for school…